confluence of the river Soar and the river Wreake

Hindus and Sikhs scattering their ashes on the river of Britain is not a new phenomena, the practicalities for many of taking a loved ones ashes back to the Ganges can prove too great. So many have adopted local rivers where the ashes can be scattered on the flowing water. The more popular spots tend to be based near the larger Hindu and Sikh populations, in fact the river Soar in Leicestershire has been popular for some time. However, what I was not aware of until recently is that the river had been blessed by a Hindu priest  who anointed it with water from the holy Ganges river.

Shastriji Prakashbhai Pandya, a Hindu priest who officiates at such ceremonies, claimed that the Soar was an acceptable alternative. “When I close my eyes, this could be the Ganges,” he said. Well I a not sure my imagination is quite that good, here the ashes are scattered at a tranquil spot where the River Soar meets the River Wreake, which is likely be fairly contrasting to the scared city of Varanasi with is heat, tumult and the smouldering of pyres.

However, Mr Pandya, who previously presided at Ganges ceremonies before coming to coming to the UK went onto say “Often it is difficult for people to go to India to scatter the ashes,” he said. “It is expensive, and older family members may not be able to travel. That is one reason why people are coming here.”

“The second reason is, the Soar is greener than the Ganges, and the scenery is better. Unlike the Ganges it is quiet here, and the water is clean and clear. Instead of people living along on the riverbanks, there are ducks.”

Families can hire a boat to take them down river to hold a ceremony. And scatter the ashes, along with flowers, powder, tulsi grass and holy leaves.

As for the Great British weather, well that is not a problem if it starts raining immediately after the ceremony, that means good luck…

As to why water from the Ganges was needed to anoint the river Soar was anointed well – it is because the Ganges is a goddess who will carry the ashes to the sea, symbolising the passage from one life to the next and if the Ganges (or in this case a credible substitute) is used their next life will be better, so the Soar now becomes a surrogate.

The River Soar is one of a number UK destination for Hindu and Sikh ashes. Other popular choices are the Thames, the Severn and the Mersey.

For more information on how to book the boat service go to River Soar Boat Hire.

This post was based on an article by Karyn Miller first published in The Telegraph in Oct 2004

Finding the right words when scattering or bury ashes is difficult so we keep on constant watch for people who express are the emotions for words we cannot articulate ourselves, this poem has been searched for by visitors and recommended by other, after reading I understood why…

When I come to the end of the road

And the sun has set for me,

I want no tears in a gloom-filled room,

Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little – But not for long

And not with your head bowed low,

Remember the love that we once shared,

Miss me – But let me go.

For this is a journey we all must take,

And each must go alone,

It’s all a part of the Master’s plan

A step on the road to home.

When you are lonely and sick of heart

Go to your friends that we know,

And bury your sorrows in doing good works,

Miss me – But let me go.

Henry Scott Holland
1847-1918
Canon of St Paul’s Cathedral

Sandra Rodgers thought she was going on a lovely Mediterranean cruise with her daughter and granddaughters, where she had planned to scatter the ashes of her late husband Barry at Monaco.

Little did she know she would end up in a “completely chaotic” rush to escape the stricken cruise ship.

It sounds like an ordeal that no one should have to endure, she describes scenes of complete chaos “There was certainly no ‘women and children first’ policy. It was disgusting.” Mrs Rogers said: “I lost my daughter and my grandchildren in the chaos whilst we were being told by the crew that there was a simply a technical problem…We were also told by crew that we should go back to our cabin. Thank God we didn’t do as they had told us as we may not have made it off the ship alive”

“I was standing by the lifeboats and men were banging into me and knocking the girls.” Many of crew just abandoned ship and it was the islanders who came to the rescue, I should caveat this by saying there were also plenty of crew who did stay by there posts and did sterling work in the evacuation.

Sadly, in the escape she ended up losing the cremation urn with her husband’s ashes and other precious family items, she told reporters that she has engaged travel law experts Irwin Mitchell’s, to act for her.

Mrs Rogers said she and her daughter had decided go on the cruise following the loss of her husband and father last year. “We had planned to scatter Barry’s ashes when the cruise passed Monaco, because Barry had always wanted to see the Monaco Grand Prix,” she said. “It’s dreadful but his ashes were lost on board the Concordia as well as other family heirlooms from my late mother and father.”

Poor woman. I shall keep you all abreast of developments; I do hope she finds justice after all this. The question I suppose from where we are sitting you have to ask – how on earth do you put a value of someone’s ashes? Whilst I am sure the court have wrestled with concept of sentimental value concerning heirlooms and such like, but ashes? No idea. Maybe they have no value and it just calculated by the amount of stress caused by their removal? Rarely do these sorts of issues make it to court where we can see the court’s thinking on such matters, but if they do will keep you posted.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-north-east-wales-16648829

Society is changing and we now often take the ashes of a loved one home from crematoria, rather than have them scattered at the garden of remembrance. However, this is relatively new tradition and people tend to do it without the help or support of the clergy or funeral profession. BBC Radio 4 are hoping to hear from members of the public that have experience with this subject and would like to share them, in particular they would like to speak to:

-          Those who have had a family dispute which has led to the scattering either being delayed for some time, or still not to have taken place…

-          People whose ceremony hasn’t gone according to plan – not factoring in the wind, scattering furtively in unusual places and so on.

-          Someone who lives with the ashes home, maybe prominent (eg the mantelpiece) and and their ongoing relationship with that person’s memory.

If you would like to help and volunteer please email us info@scattering-ashes.co.uk , call 0117 2308180 or fill out the contact form below.

Thank you.

 Ashes to Armaments Dust to Detonation – A Brief Essay on What NOT to do with Cremated Remains

Author Mr Charles Pope

“Cremation, though permitted by the Church, often presents pastoral problems for the Church. For, as experience shows, many people treat cremated remains (aka, cremains) in ways that would be unthinkable in terms of the more complete body. Some of the most common practices involve scattering the ashes on the ground, pouring them in rivers or seas, or scattering them from planes. All of these sorts of practices are forbidden by the Church to Catholics. There are other problems we will talk about below.

But recently, one of the most absurd things I have ever heard in terms of cremated remains appeared in USA Today. Here are some excerpts of the article:

By Mari Darr Welch, for USA TODAY

Officers Thad Holmes and Clem Parnell have launched Holy Smoke LLC, a company that will, for a price, load cremated human ash into shotgun shells, and rifle and pistol cartridges.

It’s the perfect life celebration for someone who loves the outdoors or shooting sports, Parnell says….

“This isn’t a joke. It’s a job that we take very seriously,” he said. “This is a reverent business. We take the utmost care in what we do and show the greatest respect for the remains.” It has established myholysmoke.com to promote the service and traffic on it has been growing, Holmes says.

For $850, one pound of ash will be loaded into 250 shotgun shells. The ash is mixed in the cups that hold the shot, not the powder.The same amount of ash will fill the bullets of 100 standard caliber center-fire rifle rounds or 250 pistol rounds…

“Some people have been concerned that a small amount of ash will remain in the animal that is shot with the ammunition, Holmes said. “But it’s just carbon, and a small amount at that. You don’t have anything to worry about.” The animal should be killed quickly by the shot, to prevent any possibility of spreading the ashes in the animal’s blood, he says. The area around where the animal was struck should not be consumed…. The full article is here:

Sigh…Where to begin. It is interesting that the proprietors have to assure us this isn’t a joke. For indeed, it seems just that, a sick joke. And then things descend to the absurd when we are also instructed to thoroughly clean the meat of the animal killed by cremains laden bullet.

Some bad jokes come to mind, to wit: Joe really lived to hunt, now he’s dying to hunt. Joe would really be blown away by this…etc., add your own. But remember, as the proprietors assure us, “this is a reverent business” and thus all joking is inappropriate.

And so it is, but so is loading human ashes into shotgun shells and bullets and shooting away. Simply calling something a reverent business does not make it so.

Again the Church allows cremation so long as the reason for doing so is not contrary to the faith (e.g. denying the resurrection of the Body). But pastorally there are challenges presented to the Church in the way people routinely treat ashes.

Granted, most of the “scattering” practices are not as absurd and irreverent as shooting animals with them. Many in fact consider various scatterings as reverent. But the bottom line for the Church is that cremains, though in ash form, are still what remains of the body. And we should no more scatter them than we would scatter body parts about.

Reverent burial or placement in a mausoleum are the only proper destination for cremated remains. Thus, not only is scattering not considered appropriate, but so is the practice of some of retaining the ashes in their home.

Yet another problem encountered by cremation is the practice of delaying the burial indefinitely. I often find that the burial of cremated individuals is not scheduled the day of the the funeral. When I ask as to the specific date I often get a lot of vague answers. I am beginning to conclude that I will not schedule the funeral until the burial is also scheduled. For too often Uncle Joe is waiting in the closet to be buried.

To conclude, a new cremation regulation, dated March 21, 1997, was granted by the Holy See as an addition, or indult, to the Order of Christian Funerals.

The instructions indicate the cremated remains should be treated with the same respect we give to the body of deceased person. The remains are to be placed in a worthy vessel which then is carried and transported with the same respect and attention given to a casket carrying a body.

Their final disposition is equally important, say the instructions: “The cremated remains should be buried in a grave or entombed in a mausoleum or columbarium [a cemetery vault designed for urns containing ashes of the dead]. The practice of scattering cremated remains on the sea, from the air, or on the ground, or keeping cremated remains in the home of a relative or friend of the deceased are not the reverent disposition that the Church requires.” The instructions also state that, if at all possible, the place of entombment should be marked with a plaque or stone memorializing the deceased.”

This raises some interesting thinking from the ‘stricter’ end of the Anglican church. So I have replied to the post hoping to get a bit more on the basis as on which the opinion was formulated. I am slightly concerned by the term immoral being used for those following this domoniation of Anglicanism (I think the divisions are refered to as demonitations but I could be wrong) and whilst the author did not use this term he concured with a respondant that did…
This is my responce

This is a fascinating post.

I run a website in the UK that advices people what to do with there cremated remains (this is not a plug honest!) and although I am a non believer I try really hard to give those of faith the correct advice. I have a position from the Church of England which is slightly different – I have copied at the bottom of the post, if you are interested.

However I have a few questions that you may be help me with.

Reverent – is this from the point of view of the deceased or the person or persons in charge of the funeral? Does it have a specific definition within the church? Do last wishes have any standing, if reverence is defined by that person?

The term immoral is used – Isn’t this little harsh if the concept of reverence is subjective? Are we Anglicans immoral if they scatter ashes?

The advice for Connor was not to attend the scattering of his father’s ashes, is this because it would infer that he condones the act or is morally corrupted by it? Are there not other ecclesiastical precedents that would lean towards honouring his father?

On the point Al makes that I don’t think Christian teaching promote an unethical side of the funeral profession, just an unfortunate coincidence sadly. And people have written me worrying because of the cost of it all.

In the main posting you seem not to like people having the ashes at home for a protracted period. I couldn’t see anything in the canon that specified or even indicated time span – unless that wasn’t the whole thing? People of faith lean heavily on their church after bereavement surely if you are not obliged under doctrine to require there burial at a certain point wouldn’t it help their grief to give them until a point they felt comfortable?

Any pointer you can give me would be greatly appreciated.

Lastly in the extract from the gun cartridge manufacture – they state it is mainly carbon, it isn’t it is mainly calcium. Carbon makes up about five.

Here is the CoE stance

“So far as the Church of England is concerned, the matter is governed by Canon B 38.4(b) which provides as follows-

The ashes of a cremated body should be reverently disposed of by a minister in a churchyard or other burial ground in … or on an area of land designated by the bishop for the purpose … or at sea.

The ordinary position therefore is that ashes are to be buried.  They may only be scattered if the bishop has designated land for the purpose of the disposal of cremated remains on that land.

We are not in a position to say what land has been so designated.  Individual diocesan registries may be able to assist with such information.”

I will keep you posted

http://blog.adw.org/2012/01/ashes-to-armaments-dust-to-detonation-a-brief-essay-on-what-not-to-do-with-cremated-remains/

Cremations Urs turn up in charity collection

This is not what you may think, that cremation urns were second hand and empty – no these were full of ashes. The urns were uncovered in a Cambridge charity shop and coincidently a similar incident made the local press elsewhere.

The coincidence is presumably because January is a month to cleanse the house, but also the reason why it made the press is because the ashes are considered to be so precious that to dispense with them willy-nilly way is a sort of morale crime in itself. This is similar to the theft of ashes that seems to occur somewhere in the world every week, again the ashes are priceless, in that they have no value to the thief, but are beyond money for the holder.

There were a few things that caught my eye about this report; firstly, there is presumption that one of the urns was for a child and the other a pet, now I might be completely off the mark here, but I would suggest it is likely that they are both pets – one cat one dog? It does happen that funeral urns crop up in house clearances, but I have never read anywhere of a child’s ashes being absentmindedly discarded, the choice of cremation urns too may be a giveaway in that I doubt the owner would choose to memorise the cat with the same deference as that of a child!

The second issue that the lady took the ashes home, so that they would not be at the shop – how lovely. Why did she feel she needed to do that I wonder? It is almost as if she felt that they had been neglected and needed looking after. The last part was the choice of resting place that they picked for the ashes, instead of the local cemetery or garden of remembrance, they intended to take the cremation urns to Africa and scatter the ashes over the river Congo. Admittedly at first I thought this seemed a little odd, but with the connection now being with the charity shop (if they remain uncollected) I actually think it’s a lovely gesture.

Finally we better give the charity a plug – http://www.menelikpartnership.org/ which raises money to support works in the Congo. They have a number of partnership schools, an orphanage and a support and advice centre as well as two clinics.

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/Home/Ashes-are-found-amongst-donations-given-to-charity-09012012.htm

Yep it’s true! I saw this story flash up a few times and ignored it as a hoax, you do get some rather strange press releases come through. However this is for real. Under a Bill proposed by Del. Terry G. Kilgore, the commonwealth of Virginia would offer an income-tax break of up to $8,000 to anyone planning to have his ashes blasted into outer space.

Why?! Well it seems that there is a space race going on in a number of States namely: Florida, New Mexico, and California — all of which have their own spaceports and now the NASA has slashed the budgets they need to find extra income streams.

There is a catch (naturally), well two actually. You’ll need to rocket off from the spaceport on Wallops Island, Virginia, and it is a limited-time-only offer that is supposed to expire in 2020.

America – you can’t knock there commercial acumen, although I am not quite sure this is the most environmental friendly of options…

Whilst UK residents won’t be eligible for the tax break having your ashes (well actually is only part of your ashes I think) sent into space is an option and if this is something that appeals to you follow the link the Heavens Above (the UK agent). Alternatively if you did not want to go over to the States and you wanted all the ashes to reach the stratosphere in a less carbon intensive way try Stardust Ashes.